Fueled Obsession 4 Read online

  Too bad the fundraising wasn’t going so well. Even though he’d helped so many kids over the years, including little Ricky and Andre, people just didn’t want to give back. I would. Once I got set up with my new house and job, I’d give back. Dr. Hopkins had taught me so much. Maybe I’d even volunteer on my days off.

  I smiled when I thought of Andre Washington. He’d recovered from his gunshot wound, but he still had a long road ahead of him. I’d ran into his mother at the hospital a few weeks ago, and she told me that Andre would continue to go to rehab to try and regain full mobility in his arm. He knew he was lucky to be alive, and like many kids who are given a second chance, he had a positive outlook on the future and I knew he’d do well. I never asked Gloria about Jack. For the first few weeks of Andre’s stay at the hospital, she’d talked about Jack constantly—how she hated him and blamed him for what happened to her son, but eventually, Andre had told the truth. It wasn’t Jack who’d sold him those drugs—it was some kid he went to school with.

  I was happy for Jack—having the truth come out was going to help him so much. A couple of times I’d considered visiting his neighborhood again, but I thought better of it. I figured I’d been enough trouble for Jack Fitzgerald already. Frankly, the embarrassment of what had happened almost smothered me—it wasn’t a good feeling, knowing your dad had put a friend in jail for no reason. At least, now that I knew he was out and freed from charges, I could breathe again.

  Dad’s name had been in all the papers lately, but not over Jack’s arrest. My father had been working deals, and according to some, he’d been tampering with witness statements, and maybe even evidence for years. Mr. Jernigan had called this morning to let me know that Dad had been talking to him about releasing my trust fund to me. I wouldn’t have to wait until I was twenty-five. He was probably feeling guilty about throwing me out. Little did he know, it was a blessing in disguise. I was just waiting on that anticipated phone call to let me know when and where.

  Nat’s door buzzer rang. “Delivery!” I recognized Dylan’s voice and laughed at him.

  “I hope it’s Chinese!” I pressed the buzzer and let him up. We were status quo—friends with no benefits, although I knew he wanted more. I’d put him off, first because of Jack, and later because I knew I wasn’t ready. I was running out of excuses and he was an incredible kisser, but kisses weren’t enough. I knew I wasn’t being realistic, and Dylan was a red-blooded, American male with full-blown hormones and man-type needs, and I didn’t know just how long he’d wait.

  I opened the door and let him in. Nat was out of town and it would be just Dylan and me. We had plans to watch the game and eat dinner and this would be the first time in a long time we’d been alone in the apartment together. I still didn’t know how I felt about him. Did I like him, love him? No, it couldn’t be love, right? I mean, wouldn’t I know that?

  “Yes, it’s Chinese but I did stop for chicken wings too. Has the game started?” We piled all the boxes of food onto the coffee table and flipped on the television. I didn’t really care about the game, but it made Dylan happy and I liked his company. He was a smart guy and it didn’t take long for him to find a sparkling career after he’d graduated. A headhunter had tracked him down and offered him a position with a major construction company.

  The fragrant garlic and onion dishes smelled heavenly and I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I grabbed the chopsticks and dug into my box of food.

  “Gosh, this is delicious.” He cracked open the container of chicken wings and reached for the sauce. “You know, sometime we’ll have to talk about this.”

  I stuffed noodles in my mouth and looked at him. “About what? Your chicken wing addiction or my love for Chinese?” I chuckled with my hand discreetly over my mouth. No need to show him my food. That would be gross.

  “About us—this. You know, what we’re doing.” Dylan crunched into a wing and gave me a serious look.

  “Hang on, let me just grab us some napkins,” I put down the box, got up and went to the kitchen—I needed a minute to think alone about what he’d just said. While I was there, I grabbed a couple of beers from the refrigerator too—it looked like we’d need them, and I brought the roll of paper towels back, along with the icy cold cans and plunked them on the table.

  “Why? Why do we have to talk about it? I think what we have is pretty good, don’t you?” I popped the top and took a swig of the cold, foamy beer. I knew what he meant, and he wasn’t wrong, but I still wanted to stall for time.

  “Yes, I enjoy our friendship, you know that but I’d love for us to be more than just friends, Mollie. I need to know if that’s possible.” Dylan wiped his mouth with a napkin and looked at me with his chocolatey brown eyes.

  I didn’t know what to say and all I could do was be honest with him. “It’s funny you bring that up, because I was thinking about us earlier.”

  “So there is an ‘us’?”

  A nervous laugh escaped my lips. In the past few months, I’d gotten to know Dylan pretty well. We’d kissed quite a few times, and a couple of times very passionately, but that had been the extent of our “relationship.” I’d learned that Dylan had been a high school basketball star. His first car was a 1979 Chevy Nova and he had a love for extreme sports. Dylan had courage, a loving family and everything a guy could want—except me. Sometimes that old suspicion rolled around in my head—that Dylan only wanted me because he believed that I’d cared about Jack. Dylan still didn’t like him, and I didn’t think it was appropriate to talk to him about my former crush, or try to explain what kind of hell Jack lived in. Let him think what he wanted—what Jack and I had was nobody’s business.

  “Of course there is an ‘us’. You’re my friend, and a very good friend at that.” I got a little irritated at the pressure he’d put on me. I liked him, just not like that. “Do you know what kind of turmoil my life has been in over the past few months?” He took a drink and nodded his head as he listened. He reached over and picked up the remote to put the game on mute.

  “So, what do you want me to do, Mollie DuBois? Wait for you? Hope you decide that you want me instead of some fantasy guy that’s never going to appreciate you?”

  I frowned at him. “God, Dylan. I never asked you to wait for me. I hope you know that I don’t expect you to wait. I know that you like me, and I like you too, but I’m just not ready to put my heart out there yet. I hope you can understand that, Dylan. It’s not about you, I promise. As far as the fantasy guy thing goes, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

  “Okay. Maybe I was wrong to bring this up right now, but I wanted to know where I stood with you. Don’t you think I know this is about Jack Fitzgerald? Are you still hung up on him?” His dark eyes filled with hurt and a glint of something else—a hidden emotion that worried me.

  Despite my best efforts to keep calm, I felt my face flush. “What? What do you mean hung up? I’m not hung up on anyone. I haven’t even seen Jack. I haven’t talked to him or anything.” I reached for my box and stared at the contents as I dug for shrimp with my chopsticks. Why is this so hard? I couldn’t tell Dylan that every time I see a Camaro go by, I think of Jack.

  I heard the television flip back on and Dylan softly say, “Got it, Mollie.” I don’t know why, but I felt like I’d failed some kind of test, one that I hadn’t studied for.

  Soon, Dylan’s team scored and all was forgiven—at least that’s how he acted. We drank a couple more beers and Dylan left without hanging around to hint for a kiss—or something else. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. You’re such a weirdo, Mollie. Make up your mind!

  I cleaned up our mess, took a shower and laid in my bed thinking about Dylan’s question. “What should I do, Mollie DuBois?” I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m doing. I fell asleep and dreamed about Jack, lying on the ground in a spray of shattered glass. I was screaming and couldn’t get to him. Then he was alive, awake and warm, holding me in his arms until he began to fade away. Soon, he
disappeared and I was left grasping at the air.

  After a fitful sleep, I woke up to an empty house. Wherever Natalie had ended up last night, that’s where she’d stayed. That probably meant she’d drank more than two glasses of wine, since Nat was a stickler for not driving while buzzed. The run-in with Jack had cured her of that.

  I checked my phone and sure enough, she’d texted me around midnight, but I hadn’t heard it.

  Staying over with Frankie…talk to you in the morning, chickie!

  Wow, that was huge. Natalie and Frankie had an intense relationship—they either intensely loved each other or intensely hated each other. I was glad to see they were on a “good” week, because she was hard to handle on a “bad” one. I sent her a text back.

  You up? Starbucks on the corner?

  I’d decided that I’d spend this Saturday looking at houses. Once I’d received my trust, I’d be ready to move, but before I got a realtor involved, I wanted to take a peek at what was available on the market. Although I’d have plenty of money, I planned on staying on the budget I’d set for myself, and I had definite ideas of what I wanted. A two or three bedroom home with big windows, an awesome view of either the ocean or the forest, and a fireplace.

  I dressed comfortably in blue jeans and a long-sleeved cotton t-shirt. I liked this shirt—Nat had said the bright blue color matched my eyes. I may not like Natalie’s choice of men, food or how she loaded the dishwasher, but I trusted her on fashion. She was the one with the high-class fashion school credentials. I pulled my hair back into a messy ponytail and dabbed on some makeup. I slid comfortable tennis shoes on my feet, reached for my purse, a notebook and headed out the door. I don’t know why, but I stopped in the doorway, turned around and stared at the room. It had been nice living here in my friend’s snug, brick apartment, but soon it would be time to move on. It was time to pull up the big girl panties and be on my own. I checked my phone to see Natalie’s answer.

  Yes! See you in fifteen!

  I closed the door with a sigh. Today was going to be a great day.

  Chapter Four — Jack

  “Ugh.” I rolled over and looked at the clock. Four hours. That’s all the sleep I’d gotten. In fact, that’s pretty much all the sleep I’d managed to grab over the last few days. I laid there for a few minutes and thought about my mom. I’d stayed with her in her hospital room every night for the past week and I was glad the nurses had let me sit with her so late. I’d normally arrive about midnight and stay till two or three in the morning. Even if she was a mean old woman, she was still my mother and right now was the most pleasant she’d been in as long as I could remember—mainly because she was asleep. I figured she wasn’t going to make it. The alcohol had fucked up her kidneys, her liver and she was just in really bad shape. I’d sit there and think of everything that had happened in my life—growing up, school, the abuse, the constant yelling and the sad thing was… I had no love for her. Just pity…and empathy, I guess. My life had been hell from the gate, but as bad as mine was, hers was way worse. Now, at forty-seven years old, she’d never have the chance to make it right. God bless that mean old girl, but I had a contract to sign today and with it, a chance to make things right—with me, with God and I hoped, Mollie.

  After a few minutes, I slid out of bed and looked at my dank appearance in the mirror. I had to get ready for the official contract-signing meeting, so I decided to make the effort and dress up for this. It wasn’t every day that someone received the biggest break of their life. Especially someone like me, and I wanted to make an occasion of it. I still couldn’t believe it. Redemption Road was a dream come true. I showered, shaved and put on my best dress clothes—grey slacks, a white shirt and my favorite dark green blazer. I probably should have bought something new, but I wasn’t the shopping type. In fact, Elaina had taken me to get this outfit when I had to show up for court the last time. Court clothes—that made me smile. I wouldn’t be going back to court any time soon. This time, I’d be on the straight and narrow all the way.

  I had some time to kill before the meeting, so I pulled my car into the small parking lot at the rear of the coffee shop. I was still grinning from ear to ear and I was excited. Redemption road was my redemption and I was determined to make it a success. To the general public, I must have looked like a smiling idiot, but I didn’t care. I was finally happy in my own skin and if they didn’t like it, fuck ‘em!

  I strutted into Starbucks, and as I scanned the room to look for an empty table, my heart skipped a beat when the first person that caught my eye was Mollie. Mollie frickin’ DuBois. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail and wore a blue shirt with her arm thrown across the back of the chair. She smiled at her dark-haired friend, Natalie—the one from the crash—who was sitting across from her. She laughed about something Natalie had said and then tilted her head back slightly—that’s when our eyes met.

  I froze. Completely solid. Fuck. This is it. What do I do? Fuck.

  I knew what I wanted to do—grab her, kiss her sweet lips and tell her how much I missed her. I wanted to tell her everything I’d done since we last met, and that she was my reason for doing any of it. But none of those things happened. She smiled and I gave her a nod as I walked to the counter. My palms were sweaty and my pulse raced. I ordered my coffee, then walked to the end of the coffee bar to pick up my brew.

  Still unsure whether I should stay or go, I turned to leave and noticed her friend had left. Her purse was gone and so was her coffee. Mollie sat there, alone. She turned in her chair and looked at me. Those big, blue eyes were just as beautiful as when I first looked into them.

  “Jack!” she called to me. I walked over and was totally surprised when she stood up and hugged me. I pulled her close, enjoying the feeling of her warm body against mine. She smelled so fucking amazing. Suddenly, I felt awkward, and stupid, and scared, and any other feeling of inadequacy I could feel—anything except relaxed. I sat in the empty chair across from her and tried to act cool and prayed I wouldn’t fall over in the process.

  “Hey, Mollie,” I said, softer than I’d intended.

  “I barely recognized you! Look at this!” She reached her hand out and rubbed my cropped hair.

  “You like it?” I smiled, pulled the lid off my drink, and tried to sound more confident than I actually felt.

  “It’s very short, isn’t it? It looks great, but I kind of liked your hair long too.”

  “It’s certainly a change, but then everything has changed for me.” She held her cup in both hands and stared at it. I noticed she didn’t want to make eye contact. She put the cup down and wiped at her eye, then looked at me sadly.

  “I bet. Have you seen your mom? I’m sorry about the phone call. I—”

  “Don’t worry about it. Is Dylan your boyfriend now?” I had to ask. I wanted to know—or maybe I didn’t. I braced myself for what she was about to say.

  “Dylan…it’s complicated. I mean—no, no it’s not. It’s not complicated. He’s not my boyfriend per se. We’ve dated, but I just can’t put the—” she held up her fingers in air quotes, “—exclusive label on it. He’s a nice guy. Just not the guy I think about at night,” she sighed. “Anyway enough about me. How are you? What have you been up to?”

  “I’m good, Mollie. I’ve missed you a lot. I thought—”

  “God, I know and I’m sorry. I’m so ashamed of what my Dad did to you. I tried to talk to him, Jack, but he wouldn’t listen. I drove by your house a couple of times, but I didn’t see anyone moving around, no lights or anything. I’ve been living with Natalie. You remember my friend?”

  “Yeah, I remember her.” Natalie was not my biggest fan, but I couldn’t blame her for that. I’d almost hit the girls with my car when I first met Mollie, and actually, if it weren’t for the non-wreck, none of this would’ve happened. “About your Dad—I never blamed you. At first I didn’t know what to think, but I always knew that you would never intentionally get me in trouble.” She wiped a tear away and blinke
d her eyes furiously. “I’ve seen your Dad’s name in the paper a lot recently. Did you know the dude that started all the digging into your dad’s shitty tactics was my attorney, Ferris Jernigan? I hope that doesn’t make you hate me, Mollie.”

  With a startled look she asked, “Ferris Jernigan is your attorney? No freakin' way! He’s my attorney too! Oh my God, Jack! That’s so cool! He’s such a smart guy. Wow, it’s such a small world.” She took a sip from her cup and I remembered the days of her sweet lips kissing mine. It was hard enough to sit here and talk to her without jumping across the table and taking her into my arms, but at least I thought we were making progress. She continued, and I couldn’t wipe the goofy smile off my face. “Jernigan is helping me to finally get my trust fund in my name. My douche-bag father had cut me off completely, you know. That stupid maid told him you were there, and when I got back from New York, Bam! Out the door. Jerk.”

  “Wow, Mollie. He cut you off? That’s cold. I kept my distance from your father since he made it clear that he didn’t want to see me again,” I laughed sourly.

  “Wait! You saw my Dad? When?”

  “I went to see you Mollie, to find you, but you’d already left. He told me that he threw you out but I had no way of getting in touch with you. I checked the clinic and the hospital too. The hospital woman, Judith, said you weren’t there, so I went to University and they were pretty rude. I figured you didn’t want to see me so I kind of gave up. If you came by the house, why didn’t you come in and say something?”

  “I did go up to the door once—you weren’t there so I left you a note. When you didn’t call me back, I thought you hated me, Jack. I really did. I’ve kind of just been trying to get through life since then. I had no car, and if it wasn’t for Natalie, nowhere to go and I lived on nothing for months. It was hard, and I spent all my time and focus on getting to work and making it to graduation so I could get a real job that could pay the bills.”

  “Well, I did see you walk into a fundraiser with Dylan a few months ago. You looked beautiful.”